I haven't been active on this site for quite some time. There are many reasons for this, but for the most part, there is one major fault. I want to be fully transparent. Not just for me but for others in similar positions like mine, so people are more open to speak, and others are willing to listen. I have had clinical depression and anxiety since I was 11, or at least through some counseling, that's as far as I can track. Art has always been a part of my life. I used it as expression and an outlet. It was my dream to have an artistic career. But as I grew older, the illness got worse, and it seemed like there was nothing I could do. I am 27 now. I went undiagnosed until a few years ago. And although I still want to make art, it gets harder and harder to find the energy, the motivation, and the strength to carry on with it. Or to carry on with anything. Hopefully, in a couple weeks, I may have access to TMS, or transcranial magnetic stimulation. It's been called the last resort for